Sunday, May 1, 2011

Good Bye and Farewell Old Polishes

So as I said in an earlier post, Fiona and I took part in the Zoya nail polish exchange. So I came up with the idea of doing a eulogy post to all of the polishes that we're sending off to Zoya to recycle as soon as our Zoyas come (hopefully tomorrow!). So this is our good-bye and farewell post to all of those polishes that we no longer want. This is a combined post between the two of us so Fiona is helping to create this post as well. So to all of the following polishes, here's a eulogy to you.

Mystery OPI. You were my second ever OPI at the age of ten, and over the last eleven years I've added different purple polishes to you and you lost your name when I ripped it off of the bottom of you when I was fourteen. You used to be a lavender color, but now you're a shimmery lavender hot mess. You don't dry at all, and it takes me five to six coats in order to turn you opaque. So good-bye my second ever OPI, I will remember you. -A

Pure Ice Dreamy. I thought you were cool in Walmart, but you turned out to be a super sheer. The glitter that was in you didn't really appear when I put you on my nails. I'm sorry that your formula in your bottle sucked, but if you had been a bit more opaque, we could have had a better relationship. Farewell and best of luck to you in your next life. -A

Sinful Colors Dream On. This was a well loved polish but is now so badly separated and dried out that its impossible to use. I need a replacement bottle of this. -F

The Color Institute Cowabunga. Huge fail. This would take 6 or more coats to make it even close to opaque. It doesn't even look good for layering and it takes forever to dry. See ya! -F

Wet n Wild Sugar Coat. When I bought you back in March, I thought you were going to be a pretty nude color that I could wear on my nails. And in fact you were a pretty nude color... in 7 to 8 coats. You were very sheer, and you streaked like it was your job. I wish you had been a better formula; I really did like you quite a bit. So I say good-bye, and that I'm sorry Wet n Wild made your formula so terrible. -A

Sinful Colors Under 18. Oh, I had had such high hopes for you. In the bottle you looked to be a reddish-coppery color and that you were going to look that way on my nail. You ended up looking like marinara sauce and I felt like I was wearing tomato sauce on my nails. Honestly, I'm glad that you're going because I just don't like you at all at this point, and I wouldn't wish you onto anyone. -A

Mystery green from Hot Topic. I posted on this hot mess so see that post to see why its so terrible. This is trash. -F

Mystery highlighter yellow Invader Zim Gir from Hot Topic. This was a Christmas gift from one of my good friends around 4 years ago when I really liked the demented "children's" TV show Invader Zim. Yeah. This is sheer, stinks and never dries. Next! -F

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Presto Pink. You were the same color as pepto bismol which is why I called you pepto pink. You chipped as soon as I put you on, and you had a weird formula in general. So I'm kind of glad I'm getting a different pink now. -A

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Brisk Blue. You were a cool blue color when I bought you, and I liked you. But then you had a weird formula, you chipped within an hour of putting you on, and you stained my nails blue! You were also always separated, so it's time to say farewell to you. -A

My first ever franken. This is a huge fail. I think I mixed every one of my collection at the time into one bottle of NYC Pink Promenade Cream, which sucks. This is a disgusting mauvey, grey pink. Gross. -F

SH XW Ivy League. Another well loved polish. This is a few years old and has separated and dried out so its pretty useless now. I need a replacement bottle. -F

Wet n Wild How I Met Your Magenta. You too were a color that I liked in the bottle. But your formula sucked. You left major VNL after four coats, you dried to a satin finish which was weird, and the bristles of your brush were all crooked. I'm not sad to see you go. -A

Wet n' Wild Night Prowl. I didn't even open you to use you. Fiona had boughten a bottle of this too, and when I saw how much of a let down it was on her nails, I was mad that I had boughten you. Glad that I'm able to exchange you for something that I'll actually like and use! -A

The Color Institute Bodacious Blue. I posted about this monstrosity in my blue swatch marathon (which I never finished...) This is a fail. Good bye! -F

SH XW Deep Purple. Do you see how separated this is? It won't shake back together, but that's okay because it was a boring purple on anyway. Next! -F

So good-bye and farewell old polishes, you may or may not be missed.

-Amanda and Fiona

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